


black eyed

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 03:25:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11095881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 'And even though Tyler can't see his reflection, he knows that his eyes would have been black.'the drown fic.





	black eyed

His tears wash down the sink in a rain of salt and blood, and as Tyler turns on the tap to wash it away, all sense of clarity goes with it. His eyes are unfocused as he punches the mirror above the sink. A downpour of glass leaves his knuckles cut up and bloody.

And even though Tyler can't see his reflection, he knows that his eyes would have been black.

"That's not who I am," he mutters to himself. "That is not me."

Tyler ignores the voice in the back of his head which tells him that it's always been a part of him, that it's his only friend and that it knows what is best for Tyler, because it is him. But it's not.

He bandages his hand and cleans up the spray of blood and glass with simple movements. The slight aluminium sheen is harsh and angry. Just like it.

...No. "That's not who I am," he says again. "I'm not it." 

Tyler stops thinking about red and blood, anger and cut lips and broken glass. Instead, Tyler starts to focus on blue and ocean waves and Josh, Josh's voice and Josh's laugh and Josh's smile.

The demon in his mind shrinks back.

Swept-up glass pieces in hand, Tyler walks out of the bathroom and to the kitchen, where he tosses it in the bin and walks out. He doesn't see his momma's worried stares or his brother's nervous glances as they see Tyler destroy himself.

-

There is silence and quiet gazes and heartache smiles. Josh's voice is soft and blue, as it always as, but it's tinted purple (and God, Tyler could listen to Josh talk forever) with something Tyler can't name. 

Tyler is sat across from Josh, his legs crossed. Josh's legs are also crossed, his wrists facing the ceiling and the skin broken in a strangely familiar lattice pattern. Rain thrums against the wall, dripping down in pools. When Tyler blinks it changes colour.

Blue flashing red anger─

"I'm not it, am I? I'm not like it?"

"No. You're you, and that's fine." Josh's blue-arch voice fills the room. "And no matter what happens, you will not be it."

Tyler looks at the ukulele beside Josh. He can't look him in the eye. "I am not it. I am not it. I am not it."

"You are not it."

But the demons in Tyler's mind say otherwise.

-

"Are you okay, Tyler?"

_Stupid pathetic weak useless nobody loves you you'll be alone forever you don't deserve it─_

"Yeah, Mom. I'm fine."

Static overlays and winter dreams say otherwise. Blackened eyes and crimson smiles say otherwise. Ruby roses and alcohol and pills say otherwise. Purplish bruises and broken skin in an apple-pie lattice say otherwise.

The setting sun on Autumn days says otherwise.

The demons in his mind say otherwise.

Tyler curls up in bed and blocks out its voice and tries to get to sleep. 

-

He's back in front of the mirror. His tears are washing down the sink in a spiral of salt and blood and as Tyler turns on the tap to wash it all the way he feels his sanity slip out with it. His mind is unfocused as he punches the mirror. Shards of glass and monotonized blood fall to the floor in the same pattern that they were in yesterday (today?) and he decides to make a change.

Tyler can't deal with it anymore. 

He brings the razor to his wrist, carving out the lattice pattern he's become so familiar with over the day which has repeated so many, so many times. It's almost routine, at this point.

The demon laughs, somewhere in the back of his mind, and Tyler laughs with it. This is perfectly normal. He's perfectly normal.

...Tyler wants to see Josh.

-


End file.
